Elves and crime

Got any little elves in your life?

If so, these elf slippers might be just the ticket. The pattern is free, from here, and it's sized for babies, toddlers, youths, and adults. I offered to knit a pair for Ken, but he declined.

I've had trouble mastering the "w&t" maneuver in this pattern, which frustrates me because I've done the "w&t" in other knitting patterns, but the felting process hides all kinds of gaping holes and what-not.

It's fun to pull the formerly huge, loosely-knit slippers from the washing machine and see slippers that an elf would undoubtedly be proud to wear.

Now, about crime. Apparently I've been committing it, maybe in my sleep. I was home alone last Friday afternoon when the phone rang, and the conversation went like this.

Me: Hello?

Him, loudly: HELLO.

Me: Who is this?

Him: You know who this is.

Me: I'm afraid I don't.

Him: IT'S YOUR NEIGHBOR.

Me:?

Him: Look, you've got to stop stealing my newspaper out of the box each morning.

Me: What????

Him: I'm tired of it. I don't know what the frickin' news is because you're stealing my newspaper each morning.

Me: You must have the wrong number. I'm not stealing your paper.

Him: You know you are. And it's got to stop.

Me: What number are you trying to call?

Him: Why did you suddenly change your voice?

Me: I didn't change my voice. I know you have the wrong number. What number are you trying to call?

Him: Yes, you changed your voice.

At that point, I could see the conversation was going around and around, so I hung up. And I haven't heard from "him" since.

I promise I'll quit stealing newspapers. And why am I stealing them, if we pay a hefty subscription price to get our OWN newspaper each day?